Mikey Westwood Mikey 'The cunt' Westwood is, for want of a better word, our singer. At the tender age of 5, Mikey found his calling in life, and decided to become a bastard. He is currently studying his masters degree in Wigger Intimidation Dynamics, and can often be found in the town's less reputable taverns, where we conduct experiments to find out if there's anything that can hurt this man's liver. Results are inconclusive...

Ian Hanratty After an industrious musical carreer playing in such bands as Pantera, Metallica, and Jefferson Starship ("I liked the 'Jeff' bit"), Hanratty decided that it was time to start a serious band. 5 shandys later, we had him pissed enough to agree to a lucrative ten-year contract and publishing deal with the mighty Goatsniffer. Hanratty currently resides beneath his girlfriend's thumb, and his hobbys include metal, more metal, calling Josh a jobless waster, and pretending he can drive.

Josh Danby Josh 'Tune the fuck up, spanner' Danby is the band's resident riffmeister/skinner-upper. Despite the fact that not one member of the band likes the cunt, he can play a mean guitar, and roll 15 skin joints at the merest hint of an upcoming festival, so fits right in anyway. He is the only jobless member of the band, and quite clearly couldn't give a shit. He sits in his studio all day, designing game levels, mixing tunes and occasionally having one off the wrist. He thinks moshing 'Is for poofs' and therefore heartily invites people to mosh at our gigs.

Sabu Teesdale, scourge of the unrighteous and indispensible tomb of ancient cryptic knowledge Lee is that rarest of finds; An intelligent drummer. Although he will not disclose his origins, there have been reports of him dating back to Babylonian times, and there were rumours that he was in fact responsible for not only many of DaVinci's more prominent innovations but, more recently, series two of Nickelodeon's 'Adventures Of Pete And Pete'. In 1998, it turned out that he was in fact the rightful King of Luxembourg, but turned down the offer on the grounds that Luxembourg was 'shit', and instead joined our group in a defiant gesture against the injustice inherent in our social systems... or something like that. Anyway, he's dead brainy. He knows why men have nipples and everything.

Ben Coming soon....